Cult Classics [solo mission]

A full moon shined above a lone temple at the edge of a forest. On the roof, a familiar silhouette was peering down a large skylight. Hara Kin was on the job once again. Tracking down the cult’s meeting place had been easy enough, but the schedule turned out to be a whole different matter. Not to mention that she hadn’t seen a glimpse of the kidnapped people so far... She had gotten into position some time ago and finally her patience was rewarded. Something big was about to take place down there.

Inside, a crowd all dressed in identical, dark robes had gathered before a huge stone altar. They were chanting something utterly incomprehensible. Behind the altar, dozens of people were tied up. The kidnapped villagers squirmed desperately as a man dressed in elaborate, inscribed robes walked past them. When the moonlight hit his face, Hara recognized the missing nin described on the mission. Even up here, she could hear his hot-blooded rambling loud and clear. He just went on and on about how the blood of the nonbelievers would cleanse their sins. And how some trickster goddess would grant them eternal life for this ultimate prank... Well wasn’t that simply hilarious?

Suddenly, the hooded figure burst through the skylight, raining glass shards all over the altar and interrupting the boring speech. The priest looked up, but it was far too late to dodge. He gasped in pain as the attacker landed right on top of him and slammed him against the floor. The brief struggle was ended by a kunai stabbed deep into his chest. "Gotcha..." How was that for an ultimate prank? Psh, there was nothing funny about murder... The assassin stood up and took a quick look at the tied up villagers. None had been harmed. Apparently the maniacs wanted their sacrifices pristine. Works for her. She then glanced at the crowd. They were still lost in an utter shock.

Hara’s victory was cut short when she felt a chill go through her spine. She slowly turned around to a horrifying sight. The corpse stood up. He still had the bleeding wound as a proof that she hadn’t missed. Disbelief slowed her movements and this time it was her who couldn’t react in time. The man rushed her against the altar and grabbed her by throat. For a supposedly dying man, he had monstrously powerful grip. She couldn’t even fight back.

From the shadows above the altar, the real priest watched at the failed assassination attempt turn around. He had been expecting someone to go after his life and prepared accordingly. Now he just needed to eliminate the woman and- Before he could finish the though, a cold blade sank into his throat. The real Kitsune was hanging from the ceiling right behind him, grinning victoriously. "You were hiding in a genjutsu the whole time... Clever... But you got unlucky. Illusions don’t work on me~" Finishing the sly whisper, she shoved the corpse down from the perch. Target dead. It hit the altar with a sickening crack and flopped forward onto the floor....Target most definitely dead.

However, Hara’s work was far from done.

With the head priest dead, the cultists were screaming in panic. At this rate, someone was going to get hurt. Luckily, if there was one thing Hara knew how to do, it was getting attention. Following a series of finger snaps, several electric sparks flashed through the room. One by one, people stopped screaming and turned their eyes onto the mysterious woman standing on the altar. Bolts of lightning coursed through her limbs, giving her an otherworldly look. Though beneath the ominous mask, she was trying her hardest not to laugh and ruin the eye-catching impression. Soon enough, the entire room was dead silent. It was time to put those acting skills into good use.

Hara put on her most fierce glare and swept it over the crowd. "Oh my dear, devoted followers... You all have been deceived!" Her accusing fingers shot towards the dead priest before her, the lone target of her wrath. "By this false prophet! He has used my name in vain to mislead you! All for the sake of his selfish goals!" With a deep sigh, she calmed down and explained. "I am the goddess of tricksters. Fun is my way. I do not want blood, war or any kind of suffering." What made her lies just a little more convincing was that the last part was completely honest.

However, one old man wasn’t very convinced anymore. Raising his voice, he argued that if they had been fooled once, why would they believe her? Who was she to order them around anyway? The logic was sound. So the counter was simple. Trickery. Hara simply shook her head and brought her hands together. "You poor, misled child... Let me show you that I am no one... And everyone." In a blink of an eye everyone in the room looked like her. The people were left speechless. No amount of pinching or slapping made any difference. All of them had turned into the image of the smiling woman. This was no dream.

Discouraged but not yet defeated, the old man tried to protest still.

The starting argument was interrupted in a heartbeat, as the Kitsune suddenly vanished from the altar and appeared in the crowd. She stood right in front of the lone protester, like she had closed the distance in a single step. Gently, she brought her hands up to his cheeks and stared deep into his eyes. Her tone was filled with utmost pity, the kind a mother would feel for confused children. "Can’t you see? I am a goddess. My knowledge and powers are beyond your comprehension. So what need have I for mortal blood?" As the shame passed, the crowd fell silent. Someone carefully inquired what the goddess truly wanted.

Now that Hara had the people’s undivided attention, it was time to rewrite some opinions. Anything a bombastic amateur could do, she would do better. "All I wish for... is entertainment. Please, my beloved followers... Won’t you amuse me?" Her tone turned playful as she stepped back. "My journey into eternity is a long and dull one, but I won’t ask for much. I only ask that you join me in laughter, just for a brief moment every day." Enjoying the imaginary spotlight, she walked around, taking time to make eye contact with each and every cultist. "A joke, a prank, a song or a dance... If it leads to laughter, it pleases me."

Finally, the words of the goddess got through and the crowd started cheering in agreement. Hara smiled broadly and spread her arms for the last, theatrical command. "Now go and make the world more entertaining!" This would keep those silly cultists busy for a long while. While they stormed out of the doors and into the night, the Kitsune turned to free the spared sacrifices. One by one, the ropes came off and with a hasty thank you they escaped as well. Soon, only the trickster remained, alone again. She had eliminated a dangerous fanatic... saved the kidnapped people... and converted a weird cult into worshipping her as a goddess. Pretty good for one evening.

_{Jutsu used:
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu
Raiton: "Ohayo!" Sheishin
Raiton: Den’atsu Ken
Magen • Shūdan Fūten
Kitshunsin}